Monday, February 1, 2010
As I pondered February, the month of love and all the signs of beauty that this month brings; I wondered what I would write about for this month. And as always, I needed to pick up a couple of items from the grocery store, so I hurried and walked into the store. I saw the red heart balloons hanging from the ceiling, Belgian chocolates filled with cherry filling lined in rows tempting each patron that walked by, little red and white soft teddy bears that said, “I love you” and even the most touching sentimental cards that made you feel loved above all others. With all of the beauty, I couldn’t help but smile. I continued to walk and spotted the floral section of the store and noticed all of the beautiful flower arrangements displayed before me. There were so many of them, some on the counter and some on the floor. They were all so beautiful, but my eye focused on a single red rose in vase all by itself on the corner of the counter. It was still, quiet and strong. As I continued my gaze, I walked closer to it and noticed the five soft fragrant red petals that made up this unbelievable rose. It was truly amazing; here was a single beautiful red rose that stood tall and strong for all of the world to admire. As I looked at it, I saw more than the rose, I saw the petals and all that they represented: love, strength, beauty and courage. Little did I know, I was seeing myself in the rose? And, as I thought more on this majestic splendor of beauty, it reminded me that I was not the only rose in the world, but all women were roses even though some of them just don’t know it yet. Each one of us is a rose. We all have love, strength, beauty and courage but it’s how we see ourselves that really counts.
That one rose changed my day, my week and my year. I couldn’t take my eyes off of it. Studying each petal, perfect in shape and color, I saw something that I never imagined I’d see. There were so many petals on this rose, but I managed to focus on one and that one petal spoke something in my spirit, it spoke “love.” I watched the rose and vowed that I would love hard and deep in 2010. I vowed that I would fill my heart with love for my husband and my friends. I thought about you, my friends that read my blog and I want you to do the same; love hard and deep in 2010. But, I want you to do a little more. I want you to love your husband and your friends, even if they don’t understand your struggle with infertility. I want you to know that you are wonderful women and you are loved. Declare that you are going to love yourself, even though there are times when you hate your body for not producing the baby you’ve been waiting on for so long. You must love yourself, even though you hate your cycle and even during those times when you feel like you hate yourself. Start this year by declaring that you will embrace your body, mind and spirit by treating them well and preparing yourself for your upcoming pregnancy. Remind yourself that you are a rose, and love is one of your strongest and best petals.
When I looked at the second petal, I heard “strength.” The journey of infertility has made you stronger whether you know it or not. Surviving this ordeal can shake anyone’s faith, but you’ve made it to 2010 and you will make it beyond. Be strong, square your shoulders back and believe that this is the year I will be a joyful mother. This is the year that God is going to bless me with a child. Inner strength comes from God, and it’s that voice that says you can never give up. Keep trying, that’s the voice of God. Listen to Him and focus on your desired destiny.
The next petal I saw reminded me of “beauty;” it was stunning and lay perfectly in its spot making the rose complete. It made me think at first of all my physical imperfections, but then I quickly realized that I was flawless just like this petal because I do love and I have strength. I realized that although this petal was especially beautiful, but it wasn’t my looks that made me beautiful it was all of the petals that make up the rose, me. It’s what makes me unique and different from everyone else. And you, just like me, have a fragrance of beauty that brings vitality to a room when you enter. Oh, you may not notice it, but everyone around you does. You’re special, beautiful inside and out.
The last petal I focused on, before I picked up the items I originally came into the store to get, was the petal of “courage”. This was a petal that I didn’t expect to see, but it was a welcomed friend. This is a petal I knew I had, but I really needed to be reminded that I had it. I am expecting God to do some huge things in my life in 2010, but all of them start and end with my courage and belief in myself. I know for some reading this blog, maybe you’ve run out of courage or you feel that you are tired of being courageous. Don’t give up, the path of infertility is a winding road, sometimes filled with highs and lows and tons of uncertainty. Realize that it takes courage to continue, believe the unbelievable, and face the uncertainties as they come. With courage, you can do it, I know you can!
Now we all know that roses have thorns on them that can hurt us if we touch them, and to me, these represent frustration, sadness and disappointment. Infertility is a thorn all by itself, because it hurts; oftentimes, pricking our hearts and causing us to suffer physically and emotionally. In the flower shop, thorns are cut off so that we aren’t stuck by their prickly points. In 2010, I am believing that God will remove every thorn in your life, including infertility. Do you ever notice that when you look at a rose you don’t focus on just the thorns? You can’t because of the love, strength, courage and beauty of the rose itself. These wonderful things overtake your mind, and your focus is solely on the rose not on the thorns. So look at your own petals. Perhaps, they are different from mine, or maybe they are the same. Don’t focus on the thorns, focus on the rose. The rose still blooms despite its prickling thorns, and so will you!
Posted by joyful mother at 2:06 PM